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Old Slurry
December 2006
Fundamentalist Christmas-Ist Sets Tree And Self On Fire In Protest
 ”Witnesses said a man set himself and a Christmas tree on fire in front of the County Courthouse before courthouse worker a deputy were able to put out the flames with a blanket and fire extinguishers. “
“The man carried a sign that read “Expletive religious freedom and the silent KHSD.â€
Ho Ho Ho Pipe
Bears Shit In The Woods
“U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan said Tuesday a negotiated settlement with Iran over its nuclear program should be sought, and he warned that military intervention would be ‘unwise and disastrous.”’
Negotiated Settlement? Sounds Gay To This Good Ole Boy Pipe
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Boy Throwing Eggs Killed By Man Firing Bullets
“The driver of a targeted gray Jeep barreled after the egg throwing boys and someone inside pulled a gun, firing multiple shots that killed 14-year-old Danny Crawford.”
“Three years ago a young man in northeast Ohio was shot to death after throwing tomatoes at passing vehicles, a common prank in the Amish community. “
Amish? Prank? Amish […]
In A Duel Pick The Gun Not The Axe. Gun Not The Axe.
“Police last night shot dead an elderly man in The Bronx who was wielding an ax, police said.”
 ””I feel sad, because he was a quiet man,” said Loida Pellerano, 48. “I never saw him bother anybody. He seemed kind of weird. Not wearing shoes or a shirt in the wintertime. He was always in the […]
Happy Festivus!
“Late in the evening came the much-anticipated Feats of Strength, in this case involving a beer pong table, followed by the piece de Festivus: a wrestling match between Doyle and her sister Lindsay, ending with the hostess being pinned to the floor.”
Xmas? Yadda Yadda Yadda Pipe
No Murder Or Conspiracy Over Diana Death Says Lizard Jew Policeman
The 832-page Stevens report dismisses all conspiracy theories regarding Diana Death.
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In other news, conspiracy theorists are given a boost by 832 pages of new material that they can misread and highlight in green ink.Â
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A Retard, A Roof And A Pool Versus All Of Gravity and The Consistently Prescient Darwin
At Least He Has Learnt His Lesson And Won’t Do That Again.
Because He Is In A Fucking Wheelchair Pipe